Despite my better judgement me and my mate Josh had decided to get a train from Alleppey back to Cochin. We had a plane to catch the next day and the train just seemed to make sense. After a bit of confusion at the ticket counter (Here Indians seem to bobble there head in response to questions. If there is some subtle difference in said bobbling to meaning yes/no or bugger off baldy I have yet to figure out. I suspect if you just flicked their ears they would bobble.) we got our tickets and jumped straight on the train as the ticket assistant had bobbled us to do.
We found an empty compartment and settled in. Facing the train I had known the sea was behind me and we would be heading left going north. So why was the train going right and south. The next stop was miles away. I burst into the next carriage and asked a young Indian if this train went to Cochin. He bobbled his head and said no. No I repeated, no he replied.
That bobble headed bitch at the ticket office had lied to us. I rushed back to tell Josh. We grabbed our gear and got to the door. The station was till going passed.
“We could jump.” He said.
I looked at the station going by picking up more speed “Well its not going to go any slower” I said.
Josh threw his bag out and followed it with a near perfect Barrel roll. I threw my bag out gulped and jumped.
Where Josh had landed like a para with the crowd looking in on admiration I bounced along the platform like a pebble skimming along a pond. I skidded the last 3 meters before coming to a halt. Where as I am sure just before I closed my eyes I saw the Indians standing up with score cards giving 5.6 5.7 5.6 5.8 for Joshes landing, when I opened my eyes there was the slavering teeth of a doberman inches from me drool dripping on my face and a confused looking transport police dog handler looking down at me in case I was some form of terrorist threat. Bitch lied to us I thought.
The police were ok with us really. They realized we were no threat to anyone but our selves. They sent us on our way and told us that we had been on the right train after all. WTF. If I had got it wrong and the bobble head at the ticket counter had not lied to us that meant the guy on the train had lied to us. WTF. That bastard!
Eventually we did get to Cochin where I took a shower cleaned the grazes on my toes, shin, elbow and hip. Checked my bruises in case anything was broken on my toes wrist and heel, then finished off what little whiskey was left in my hip flask. I sat on my bed in the hostel and pondered.
I’m nearly 50 years old.
I’m getting too old for this.
Time to take the quieter road I think………..
Bollocks to that. I only stopped climbing trees this year. Let the world bring it on.
I’m the Hobo.
Thanks for reading.